Terminate it, already

One man's cool is another man's stupid.

A lot of the people who see "Terminator Salvation" will think it is cool, the coolest and most awesomest movie ever -- or at least since "Star Trek" came out two weeks ago. The rest of us, however, will think it's kind of...stupid.

As seems to be the case with every blockbuster these days -- or at least since it became relatively easy to create special effects on a computer -- the difference comes down to a matter of taste and tolerance. If you're looking for gigantic explosions, rapidly edited action scenes and fast-moving vehicles, it is cool. If you're looking for a coherent story, character development, logic or adherence to even one law of physics, well, look elsewhere.

Why is the original "Terminator" movie so much fun? Mainly, it is because of the irresistible premise, with its time travel, its sense of nobility and its time-warp romance. The unstoppable, single-minded villain made an exciting antagonist, adding a sense of hopelessness to the human heroes' cause. An unfeeling, unthinking, impossibly strong machine was the perfect role for Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose acting had always been a bit robotic anyway, and Linda Hamilton (herself no great actress) projected both a sexy softness and a strength.

The new movie, which is the fourth in the series, has none of these qualities. All it has going for it are memories of the first film, which it occasionally nudges with a few clever references.

Christian Bale, who may be too serious an actor for such a silly role, stars as John Connor, the man of the future who we know will be a leader (but not the leader) of the rebellion against the murderous machines that have taken over the world. He is looking for the teen he needs to send back into the past to be his father. It makes sense if you saw the first movie.

Meanwhile, a mystery man with a mission comes out of the desert, ignorant of the world-wide war going on and uncertain about the year. He joins up with the teen that John Connor is looking for, played by Anton Yelchin, who also plays Sulu in "Star Trek."

John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris have written some truly dismal movies in the past, including "Primeval," "Catwoman," "The Net" and "Into the Sun," which starred Anthony Michael Hall as a fighter pilot. Somehow, they also managed to write the intriguing and provocative "The Game," but "Terminator Salvation" is more Catwomany than Gamey. To their credit, though, they did come up with one nifty plot twist. Because this twist comes in the midst of a thrilling, extended climactic battle scene, the audience is likely to leave the theater thinking the movie is better than it actually is.

An early helicopter take-off and crash is also particularly well handled, but here is the thing: It is one of two helicopter crashes John Connor survives. This fact tells us that the writers ran out of new ideas (note that the human characters repeatedly end their confrontations or showdowns when a machine conveniently shows up and starts killing people). It also demonstrates the characters' bizarre imperviousness to injury.

The director is McG, who obviously fancies himself a visual stylist. And he pulls out all the tiresome visual stylings we have come to expect from such visionaries: colored lights, flashing lights, colored flashing lights, smoke, steam, flames, sparks, water, broken glass. The funny thing about these visual stylists is they are still entranced by the same cliches that have been used since 1982.

But what do you expect from a director who calls himself McG? He probably thinks the name is cool. I think it's stupid.